A letter to my future self

Wondering about the future and how scary things could get for me. I accept the challenge to write a letter to myself so when I look back I will be able to maybe laugh, cry, and fix whatever needs to change.

Hello Precious Soul;

I can tell how many times you have wonder which purpose do you have in life. Seen and feeling the pain under your memories and asking why this ever happen to you, and how you could outgrowth those fears to live a peaceful life.

Your memories have been holding you back long enough. Your pain has been taking you apart ever since someone took a piece away from you without permission. I know, believe me. But, I just have to say how proud I feel about you. You took the courage to heal, and use your pain like a dagger to stab any stereotype that would take away any woman’s rights, and that my dear is inspiring. Because you won’t be able to stop the damage they have done in your life, but you always have the power to fix it and make it something great. And that’s a win, win.

I remember when you notice you might be pregnant, hahaha you were eating cinnamons with so much passion, that you prove you were right since you hated so much your entire life. I remember how afraid you were about being a mother, and how much you wonder if you will be able to raise someone with only 20 years old. You even cry, so much that night asking yourself “How would I?” lol Nowadays, you have 2 amazing daughters, they are just toddlers expecting the best from you, and you have been making sure of it. You did it, my love! Stop the guilt trip, you are a wonderful mother, you have been exceptional with them, do not think otherwise. They have seen your hard work, they have seen your dedication, and their life will prove you that.

Your life might not be perfect but I’m sure you are trying, and you will until the end. But, there is something I need to tell you, something I want you to remember very carefully…

Keishla, you need to stop expecting. People are humans, they make mistakes, they changed their minds very often and for that reason —I’m not saying everybody— they might fail you. Stop putting your expectations in some places or individuals that will only take apart what you really desire. Start your track having expectations from whom will be always faithful, who will always be there, and who will never stop loving you for who you are, and that’s your heavenly Father.

That time when you let people identified you have ended, you are not the same mistakes you did, you are not identified as your failures you are the unstoppable woman that took the courage to rectify her life. You are probably already a lawyer when you read this letter, and that will demonstrate you are and always be a warrior. Fight for those who were not heard, fight for those who might be a victim like once you were, and show them a way, create a safe path to accept the pain but also their recovery.

I know you can do it, keep fighting the good fight.

Don’t let anyone defines you, cause you already know your worth.

With so much love,

-Keishla Padilla