To be young and unmotivated, to be depressive and an overthinker, to be in a moment in your life represented by chaos, to be a people pleaser, to everything going to hell. These are some common factors that push us over our mental bridge, automatically self-referring ourselves as inactive members of society. But, did you know sometimes, lack of motivation is all in our heads living rent-free?
Have you ever met someone who you think they have fantastic ideas, start them but never finish them? You think of them as absolute geniuses with the guttery compliment of “they are so lazy”. The short answer, they are not lazy, and there are a couple of things holding them back, whether it is an effect of their surroundings that circles back on how the situation is absorbed mentally.
I am going to take myself as a living-breathing-example. I have multiple ideas all of them require the same amount of effort that can start with little time invested, yet in my head, they are projects with consequences, follow-ups, and what I dread the most, they could feel monotonous. That is when the endless downward spiral of overthinking and how powerful it anchors hit me unannounced.
I knew I needed it to get out of my funk and be the extraordinary person that I know I am. We tend to research celebrity net worths, places, and even the history of the person we are dating, so why not the things that can get us out of our lack of motivation. Maybe we are so stuck with “yeah, I am a lazy fuck”, and that is the reality we make ourselves believe. The actuality of things is, you are fucking great, maybe just a little disorganised with your time as I am. I had a concept that time was like thin air, and I could never catch a grip of it.
Never Blame Yourself For Not Doing Enough
Darling, you are probably the most active member in this entire world! Often we overthink that we are not doing enough; in reality, we have a million ideas of what we want to do but no clue what to start first. It is fine as long you are aware of what is going on in your brilliant head.
I went back to my home country for a couple of days, and while being there, I realise that I am always longing for the outcomes of my goals but never planning the start of them. It was an “aha” moment that led me to engage with myself, embarking on the journey of “how can I break this lack of motivation?”.
Back to basics, the beginnings are often as simple as writing things down. For example, every year -and maybe a couple of posts earlier- I used to swear by a planner; I always bought them, used them, and tossed them. Monotony bores me. After a while, I thought doing the same things was just not for me. I like the element of surprise, the same element that was imperilling my productivity, making me feel the most prominent flake ever. I gave yearly planners another chance, and now I am starting to consider why they are still in the market positively. Writing tasks and feelings away help to systematise all of our thoughts and allows us to reflect on them -almost- as a second person, a new perspective.
Maybe You Are Not The Planner Type; You Are Just a Rough Pusher
Yes, a rough pusher defined by me as, “let’s get out of bed, take the damn shower, and do x, y, and z today”. Think of it as though love. Get off from endlessly scrolling on social media, jump out of bed, make your bed, shower, eat, and start your day with control, because those are things that you can easily control. Take it from me, when I am having deep, depressive thoughts, the best thing I can do to combat them is just forcing myself to do so. I know it does not work as easy for everyone, it is always good to try.
Social Media is entertaining, helpful, and even a business tool, but it should not be what rules most of your day. There are scenarios like I am super tired, and I feel like resting all day long and then there is the addictive circle every time during your spare time. Breaking habits is so uphill. You are successful at everything you think of, but you need to break through and start. Once you start, there is no turning back, like opening a new door signifies a fresh opportunity.
Stop Pleasing Others, Please Your Damn Self
Pleasing people is just a -major- NO, NO NOOOOOO! People-pleasing is a crude form of ever-changing yourself to fit someone else’s idea of who you are supposed to be in their eyes. You are exhausting your resources trying to fit into someone who you do not want to be. Read that last sentence out loud.
Stay true to yourself and protect your identity at all costs. I understood -recently- that I was losing parts of me trying to fit into others narratives of my persona. Depending on the person, I would have to switch personalities until my mental health started deteriorating and create the idea that I was always tired. The constant change made me question what I wanted and if it was worth it since some people would hate or love me for my choices or actions. Whatever I would or will do, people are still opinionated. Why not focus on doing what you love doing the most?
The plan is to dissect your now and envision your future. Are you aligning your current actions with your goals, or are you waiting for the life-changing event to happen from shallow air? As Florence Given says, EXACTLY.
The plan is yours to make, I cannot tell you how you can achieve a more productive life, but I can tell you it all starts from a small effort. You are dreaming of things you love; why apart yourself from it? You are capable of so much. Some will set you back, diminish your worth, gaslight you, be prepared. Be willing to show up for yourself. Need help, a little push, confine with that person who is always is there for you, your therapist, or even myself. I am easy to talk to and always accessible for those who need me, just hit our Team AV tab, and you will find my contact info.
Whatever is YOUR master plan, set it in stone and NEVER STOP SHINNING!