Crushing others for your -own- benefit is one of the most disgusting acts any human being can partake on. However, I believe we all have fallen victim or victimized someone into doing something that would elevate us to the next step. One of the numerous questions I often ask my self is if we recognize the power of our words, emotions, and intentions, why would we continue to crush others for our gain?
A brief experience of being crushed
Recently more than ever I am in the horrid scene of being crushed upon, but, just because it was not my first rodeo of falling under such “position”, I can endure the action with a different light. Mines happens more-so where I spend the majority of my time, you guessed it, not at home nor with my family or friends, but you do not need to get creative as in where. I cannot be more direct about where what and who because in the end, that is how I help myself and cannot afford a bad omen. There are not enough days of the week where the credit goes to someone else, and I am -ultimately- left in the shadows like an evil spell everyone is trying to reject. It does not matter how great or how much work and effort I put towards a task when in someone’s head I am just a knight in shiny armour making “them” shine brighter than the Eiffel Tower at night. At first, it felt so depressing I was disgusted with myself and was always asking if I would ever feel secure knowing how I react to certain situations that I point out as injustice. I could not think of any resources that could help my sentiment feel any better of what was going on. To top it all -as if this was an ugly dessert- everyone I knew always had a somewhat negative experience of the same ordeal, which left me shaking and thinking what can I possibly do to salvage myself, the answer, step back and lay low.
Stepping back and laying low, but does it work?
The moment I thought that it was impossible to withstand any more BS, I went godspeed in a mental crisis, involving losing my sanity for the sake of others. I wanted to scream from the top of my longs that I could not take any more sinister sarcasm, back-stabbing, hypocrite, environment. I would always return home crying feeling stuck, unlucky, and afraid one day, every single piece of injustice would push me to lash out for my disadvantage. Sounds V dramatic, but it is not. Not only it was a crushing sentiment towards my -own- persona, my eyes witness how it was a general practice of silent and metaphorical fists to the rest of the humans in my surroundings. It was a constant negative flare resulting in them choosing their happiness and comfort and saying goodbye without looking back. Not even a single questioned asked about their decision rather a smirk of success and victory.
Within all, I could only observe the fate being deliver superimposing others and reflect on how I could keep myself together without taking a massive toll on my mental health. Did I mention how badly affected my mental health? Let me clear out that it CRUSHED my mental health to the ground! But, because I needed it to choose myself and my own MH, I opted for laying low and become the background, opposite of my opinionated and outspoken persona.
Do I like laying low, do nothing, and let things happen? I despise it! I am one who loves helping others, push them to the limits; I am not the one to stay on the bench and watches how people -metaphorically- gets ran over by monstrocious actions. It is so painful not being able to help but witness what is taking place and listen to how they feel without offering alternatives, because, I am too, going through the same pain as everyone else. Not having options is barbaric, not expressing oneself is prehistoric how could this possibly be something overlooked and not necessarily a call for action and change?
Being the one who makes others the victim
I have too been on the opposite scale of this. I am sure there are plenty of stories of things I might do that made others tick into desperation and unforgiven frustration.
My first role as a leader, I became a person that it was easy to hate, a commander in my professional ambience, someone who would only accept perfect results or nothing else. I can recall stepping over and over when others made mistakes instead of correcting them with love and warmth. At the time, in my ignorance, I was invested in leading with fear searching for respect but stupidly borderline disrespecting others. I too would claim their success as my success, taking their hard work and labelling as mines, leaving them with nothing but an empty existence.
I cannot say that was the only time I made someone else my victim for my benefit. I can mention how badly it feels remembering the times where I would ruin someone’s day to make mines better. One can only hope for forgiveness and happiness to those hurt by my actions.
Would our generation continue to tolerate, or is it going to be over soon?
Imagine if we all got fed up of being pushed around falling victim, or just tired of others getting such treatment, we would have taken action, right? Some will say is a “cry call” rather the opposite, is a call for change and others to be held accountable like we have to do it with ourselves. It is time to stand up and leave this prehistoric practice behind; some leaders help you grow along whatever process you are walking through, and bosses will always take credit for something they put zero or no effort. There are relationships, friendships, and families, rolling with the same “topic issue”. Be aware this is not supposed to be normalized, somewhat than an old custom injected by ancient ideals far from equality and what we need looking forward. Has someone else been through and through tired of it, feeling hopeless; and why we are not linking together and stand against it? Is a social dilemma being forced against our beliefs to accept it as a common thing with the hopes that we need to “toughen up”? Admitting fault is not your responsibility if you are the victim; you can only choose to leave and move one, be stuck or say nothing or risk it all with the hopes of change. But would such change ever happen?