As many parents would have known this, we occur to have an open opportunity to teach our kiddos how to love and react to many situations on their daily basis life.
Spanking our kids come as an education form for some parents that truly believe this a fine method for their children to behave when the situation has gone out of control. Even though, some mental health professionals stand against this strategy. From my experience as a mother, I got into a conversation about this so many times with my husband. We choose to talk over things we disagree to come with a happy medium strategy. Im the one that believe we must talk before thinking about using any other method.
As a child, I was spanked. Of course, I was not into an abusive family, but my parents make sure to teach us how things would end for us if we choose to do stuff that does not represent the education they have been providing us.
I got to admit, I didn’t understand my parents since I become one —Parenting can be so tough— I have experienced bad days with my girls when I tried everything on my motherhood pockets to finally stopped whatever mess was going on in the first place. Just to realized my mission has failed. At this very moment I feel that I can’t take back my control as the authority I spanked them over my own desperation. I mean, I stand-in not to spank them out of silly things, or just for everything they might have done wrong. I actually rather not to do so without trying to make them understand the situation they got on to and how they must have done it instead of judging them.
Without any discipline strategy, you will think that spanking is the only option you got to educate your kids
Reasons why we spank our kiddos
My viewpoint in this debate is that we hit them out of desperation, anger, impulse, and to satisfy our own frustrations. See, when you choose to spank you also choose not to communicate about the things they have done wrong. For example:
If your children are fighting over a toy they must share and you spank them right away ask yourself this question, Do they understand the importance of sharing? —like this case— Or they just ended up sharing because you teached them “If you don’t I will hit you to do so…” That does not seem to be educational at all. We want them to become successful grown-ups and for that, we must change the strategy with them from physical punishment to verbal education.
Communication is Educational
Following the example, I would use my words this time to show you guys there’s a difference we could start making in our children’s life. Sharing is caring —I bet is not the first you heard about this phrase— Indeed sharing is caring for the other person’s needs. This time they are sharing a toy but eventually, they will be sharing food, chairs, house, finances and so many other things. Spanking them won’t let them understand this life principle it would only solve temporary what it might be a behavioral problem in the future. I’d believe you must show them how to do things and not stop them from learning another option in the table.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging anyone’s parenting method, like I said before I believe spanking would only fix the behavior problem temporarily. While communicating with them and making this a habit will provide you and your children a long-term solution. Give them time to work things out, every kid learns by doing things repeatedly.
Stop comparing behaviors between siblings
Include in your strategies time to get things right one child at a time. We must not forget how our kids are different human beings even if they are family. Understanding your kid’s temper and retention is a great way to create strategies according to their needs. Do not compare them, do not think is useless if you don’t experience any change, give it time. If the problem persists seek professional health care to assist you in the process.
Grounding could be a better solution
Im the one in my house that is always grounding or as we call it these days, putting them in time out. I show my girls this time comes when they are not doing what I teach them to do, also it helps me as a mother take a step for myself and not to lose control over the situation. When I put them in time out I used a meaningful time to talk while they are sitting down. You see, my interest is to make that time a lesson so I talked to my girls through the situation that got them grounded in the first place and how they are supposed to do it correctly.
Grounding your kids may provide a better lesson from us as parents than spanking. Taking privileges away would teach them we get things in life only the time we do it the right way. It will help them understand whether you are present or not they must follow an order to live under great values. Better than showing that aggression —what spanking models— might be probably a way to get things done. Instead of shaming them and their self-esteem by allowing your kids to think they are unable to learn how to do it better, listen to them, teach them, right before you hurt them. More importantly, encourage them to believe they can always do it better.
For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.Hebrews 12:11