People that have siblings often wish they were an only child. Being spoiled with everything you want, having all the attention; a royal life…
Let me tell you that yes, sometimes is a dream life, but it also has its disadvantages.
You must be saying “What in the world is she saying?!” Being an only child is a blessing, don’t get me wrong, but it could be a lonely life sometimes…
Let me just mention that we only children don’t have everything we want, when we want it, and how we want it. We have to work hard for it, or at least that’s my case. I do confess I’m spoiled, but that comes with the package (lol!) I got lucky to have the parents I have. For being an only child they aren’t that overprotective, but I do have an overachiever mom. I’m expected to have straight A’s in an era were professors would do anything to make you fail the class. I can have almost everything I want, my only work is to have good grades (which, between you and me, sometimes isn’t that easy because master’s degrees are hard!).
Because I’m an only child, I’m shy around people and I even have social anxiety. Maybe is because I got used to being alone. Since little, I had to play by myself. I remember I had an imaginary friend to run around with me, he was fun. I think this loneliness developed a fear for people in me. Or maybe it was the fact that everyone wanted to do everything for me because “I was the princess of the house”.
Sometimes I think that if I had a sibling I would be less shy, I would be more confident because you know… I see my friends going out with their siblings, how they share moments or how they help each other and I think to myself “Damn, I wish I had that”. I mentioned it’s a lonely life because you barely have people to talk to when you get home. There are times when something really exciting happens but you don’t really have anyone to tell. You can’t tell your parents because it might be something you don’t want them to know or something they won’t really understand.
I have cousins that treat me like their sister but our age difference makes it hard to have those moments, plus most of them are parents already and they have to take care of their kids. My only partner in crime—my cousin who’s only two years younger than me—when he graduated from college, he left for the United States. He still would hurt anyone who hurt me and I would do the same… but from the distance.
Your social life depends a lot on having great friends or having a great bond with your parents. Most of my friends say that I have the coolest mom ever and it’s because she had to adapt to my time, again, because I have no one else. My mom is really supportive, she’s my #1 fan. She helps me with cosplays, with my shop, with ideas, and sometimes with homework. She also had to learn the name and faces of my K-Pop groups, as well as their songs.
I have every type of friends: cosplayers, K-Poppers, University… you name it! Each one of them is special and we have different conversations that make every moment a wholesome one. I’m always very thankful that they approached me (because, let’s be honest here, I have problems when socializing).
Being an only child also brought me the fear of rejection, so yeah, I’m your typical would-do-anything-for-you girl. This also means a lot of people approach me to just take advantage of me. I’ve learned this the hard way, sadly. But to see the pros of it, I’ve become a very picky person and I don’t vibe with everyone and it has helped me to become stronger.
The fear of being alone is also there when you’re an only child. This is bad because I’ve been with guys who weren’t good for me. Since I was a teen, I thought that having a boyfriend would be the solution to my loneliness, obviously it wasn’t like that. This only brought problems and unnecessary drama. I have a lot of traumas and insecurities that I now have to work on because the few boys I had were a chaotic mess. On the bright side, I learned that I don’t need any boy to make me happy when I can be happy with myself. I also learned that for loving someone, I have to love myself first. This is something I realized recently and I’m so glad I did.
Another thing about being an only child is that you live to meet the expectations of your family. There’s no one else! You have all that pressure on your poor little shoulders! To be a good kid, to study and have good grades, to find a good job, to make things right… maybe that’s why I have anxiety. You feel like everyone is watching you and at the small inconvenience everything will start to crumble.
Last but not least, when you’re an only child you constantly think about how would your life be when you’re a grown up with responsibilities, when your parents are old and you have to take care of them. That’s when you realize it indeed is a lonely life.
I sometimes wonder how would my life be if I had a sibling. Would we fight? Would we be best friends? How alike would be had been? Would we hang out often?
Now, not everything is bad! The pros of being the princess of the castle? It’s a peaceful life. You can spend hours just reading a book, playing video games, painting, ANYTHING! And nobody will bother you. In my case, I think I have so many talents because I have had the time to work on them, nourish them, and improve, all because I get bored easily and I always need something new to try. I think this has only been possible because I have the peace of being an only child and I can concentrate well. I’ve done about everything through my life: dance, paint, draw, sing being creative, you name it! And it’s because I’ve always have a desire to try new things and to meet new people.
Another pro? All the attention is for you, and who doesn’t like that? This also helps to create a special bond with your parents, which is something valuable these days. Your parents would do anything for you, but hey! Don’t take advantage of that! I’ll give you an example of a real-life situation: One day I wanted to go to the other side of the country just to get some tacos and crepes, and my parents planned a whole roadtrip for it! It was amazing and really fun.
Moments like those makes me realize how lucky I am and make me be happy to have the life I have. No siblings! Just me against the world!