The following content you are about to read is the exact words of our writers Keishla, Himeko, Nerea, and Jarelis. This chat is posted as-in no alterations. Here in Awkwardly Voguish, we promote freedom of speech for all team members. What that means is that our writers could curse at any given moment so, beware yourself. Enjoy our convo!
Chat starts (Friday @ 3:40) and we were all lost until… Everyone is ready to roll!
Jarelis: Oh good! are all in! Okay, now that we are ready for today’s chat, let’s talk about body positivity!
Keishla: I think you are supposed to love your body in exchange for loving yourself.
Himeko: That is true, i had big loving myself problems because I once hated how I looked. I went through the same thing. I hated my body because I was afraid of ageing. It started when I turned 21. I’m feeling q lot more confident now.
Keishla: Me too! I have been always compared with my twin and that made me hate the way that I was too skinny and she wasn’t.
Nerea: I have actually put a lot of thought into this topic of conversation with my psychologist. I remember growing up in Spain and not really worrying about the way I looked. I wasn’t until i moved to the states and began comparing myself to social media influencers and my peers around me trying to become them. It all went down hill after that. I feel like I go through phases. At times very confident and other times are just really bad.
Jarelis: I used to be the same. When I moved to the States, everyone looked stunning and I was always feeling like the outcast. It wasn’t until last year that my life coach made me stare at myself naked in the mirror. That’s when I had to cross the line and be like “this is only flesh. I can change at any point. I should be ready for change.”
Nerea: yea, it’s easy for our minds to be kind of like stuck with that thought of not liking the way we look but I guess it’s harder for us to realize that it can change. It won’t be easy and it will probably take a while to get there but it’s all about keeping your head of and pushing through the harder times with determination.
Himeko: In my case, I have been insecure since little because all my “friends” used to be pretty and made fun of me because I had curly hair, my eyes were too big and my mouth was too big.
Jarelis: I truly believe when shit-heads start picking on others physique is basically because they are insecure of themselves. Like cool, there are people out there who love workout and that’s great. I like to be a sagging bag of potatoes, for now, maybe in the future, I’ll have a six-pack but for now, y’all can go and eat crap.
Keishla: Being body positive is not just about the looks or physical this is something spiritual between your mind, your body and your soul.
Jarelis: It has a little bit of all that. I just couldn’t connect all of that without loving your core.
Nerea: I agree with Key, I personally think my body positivity is not at it’s peak right now because I find various minor issues pertaining to all of those aspects. Some more concerning than others.
Jarelis: As they say, beauty comes within! We have been through it and, we understand what’s up. Like I have dark circles that make me look like a raccoon. I cried day and night until I was like “fuck it”. I want every single out there to just say fuck it and come out of their “body jail” is just so hard for some.
Keishla: You can exercise, do diets, you can be the most beautiful of your self, but what if you don’t feel you are beautiful l? because your mind doesn’t allow you to believe it, that is when your mental health comes to the scenario.
Jarelis: That’s something that I can agree with. How do we connect with others that are going through this “I hate my body” phase? There’s people that doesn’t even understand is just in their heads. I didn’t at some point. How can we reach them, and help them? There’s a lot of suicide happening because of this (+ bullying on top of it). Is not lack of confidence, is lack of having someone who points them at the right direction. Sometimes this bullying starts at home (sadly).
Nerea: home and school in a lot of cases are hell. Literally the foundation of a lot of insecurities in people.
Himeko: I agree with that! I learned to love myself recently, I still have to work but I’ve done some improvements
Nerea: My 9 year old brother has very long hair, he always has. He loves it but going to school has become a nightmare for him because people make fun of him and although it pains him he refuses to cut his hair. Nine years old and i’ve never had his confidence.
Jarelis: How did you guys learn how to love yourself, what was the biggest struggle?
Nerea: I stopped comparing myself. Began Pointing out the things I loved rather than the ones i hated and I worshiped those areas. Also, slowly but surely learned to love those areas I liked a lot less. For example I used to hate my ears but I began sort of forcing myself to put on earrings and exhibit them rather than hide them under my hair.I still become insecure at times but that sure helps me.
Himeko: I started embracing what I truly liked, no matter what people thought. I also started going to a psychologist. Also the music I started to listen helped a little. I also noticed when I entered university, people around you doesn’t mind how you look at all. At least where I study.
Keishla: I did too! I started going to therapy that’s where I found myself embracing the idea of who I was and who I was supposed to become on my future. I changed my circle, of course, there was some type of friendships that I had to end up and I started taking care of my spiritual side. All of that together made me realize my own purpose being me, not like anybody else.
Nerea: Personally, I think therapy has helped my mental state but it hasn’t really impacted the way I thought of myself physically. I feel like the is something i have been able to practice myself with the support of the right friends. Of course it all ties up but there are some aspects that are more personal than others.
Keishla: I agree with you.
Jarelis: I’m glad you guys mentioned the circle surrounding you. Sometimes we keep friends we should’ve, like those who really make you feel stuck.
Nerea: Definitely, I am a huge believer that things happen for a reason and everyone that comes into your life for a reason, either to teach you a lesson and give you the ability to progress on yourself or stand with you along the way.
Jarelis: I stand solidly on that statement.
Himeko: That’s so true!
Jarelis: There’s a lot of people that will come to your life and give you hell but those are the same ones that will make you appreciate when the true ones come around.
Learning how to love yourself is really hard but, do not feel alone. We all have been there at some point in our lives. Some of us are strong enough to confront those thoughts, others might need some help to overcome self-hate. Whatever is the case, there are options and people who could help your journey to self-love, from therapists, life coaches, music and, even podcasts. Having the support of those surrounding you is key for your success as well.