What’s motherhood? I’d like to go through this question from my own experience as a young mommy. Motherhood starts with the idea of how you’re going to create your family, whether, is by giving birth or adoption, that is just merely the start. When you’ve become a mum, you start to notice all the separate aspects of this new journey.
The practical part of being a mother is about everything you have to do as a parent, like cooking, cleaning, changing diapers, teaching, and a bunch of other stuff I could mention. These are the things we do because they’re not independent and, they need us to help them until they get old enough to do it by themselves. That’s why I called it practical. Differently, there’s the emotional part of being a mother. I love this one because it involves feelings. I found this an essential aspect of motherhood. This is the part when you learn how to love, protect, and discipline your children. I associated this emotional role with the joy that I felt the day I watched the very first steps walked or by listening to the first word that came out of their mouths (even if that word was Dad). It is adorable, isn’t it? Being part of these amazing moments that only happened one time but would remain in our hearts forever.
How important it is to let go this phase?
I understand the burden that causes us the idea of leaving our kids behind. We have been practically and emotionally bond to them. All of that snuggle time at night are stuck with us, and the feeling that they might need us while we’re not around will last a lifetime. That’s why leaving home it’s so hard for some of us. Furthermore, we have to move on to our GOALS.
When was the last time you did something that involves your passion?
I’m not saying that motherhood is the same thing as sacrifice. That might be one of the most things you’ll do as a parent, a lot of sacrifices. Nonetheless, you have to understand that should not be the end of your aspirations.
“Thinking about yourself as a parent doesn’t mean you are selfish to them. It only proves that you understand what being a mother/father meant …”
Taking care of your goals is essential!
Some of the youngest mothers I have met struggles with the idea of returning to work or, university. We have to strategize carefully because, we already have to deal with the influence society brings on us. It is not a secret that most of the time we talked to our eldest family members and hear about how we’re supposed to give ourselves up. They often say whether you like it or not we have to live with your decisions to become a parent. Let me add something here, being a mother is a choice that we ratify the moment we decided to conceive the baby. Is it not the end of being ourselves! WE CAN’T TURN OFF OUR FEELINGS AS WOMAN! If we took the outdated tradition of motherhood we would stop our lives just to be mothers and nothing else. We have to create a new path in order to achieve anything we want for us and our family. Giving up is just opening to the comfort zone and not opening yourself to who you could become Every single human has ambitions, passions, and dreams. It’s alright to be passionate about any other things that does not involve your kids, and that is cool too.
How am I going to recover my goals?
First of all, I want you to reconnect with your inner self. Taking this choice would mean everything for you to be able to find out more about why you couldn’t let them go. In my case, I was living a trauma that I didn’t took care since my childhood. Those traumatic events I lived in were taking the lead of my life and my girls as well. When I recognize I was in need of some therapy my life changes. That’s when I realized I was suffering a PTSD (post-traumatic disorder) that was holding me to take a step forward to let them go and finally be more than a protective mother. When I took care of my mental issues I discover myself prepared to let me and them live the way they deserve.
Secondly, you have to find your own purpose. I lost myself so many times when I forgot to took care of the most important person, myself, misma. Please don’t get me wrong, we’re columns at our homes if we’re not in a good place, how are we supposed to lead our family to succeed? This is not a thing that anyone could do for you. In my experience, I had my husband and my parents over my shoulder asking me to do anything but get out of the house. When I finally recovered I felt that I was lost. I was able to let another chapter of my life begin but I couldn’t get through it because I didn’t knew what I wanted anymore. I took the advice that my Pastor once gave me and create a list. It consists of a few things:
- Write down what you feel you could be or do in your future.
- Ask your loves one what they think you could be when they saw you.
- Compare those similar things in order to get close to your new chapter.
- TIMES UP! You are ready to start.